Positivity Project

The past year and a half has been hard. On everyone. We live in a world on the precipice—though I am not sure of what—fueled by anxiety, anger, hatred, and fear.  If you’ve watched the news during this time, it’s been depressing, and you may have felt daily reminders of these emotions—daily Covid case counts and deaths. Rallies and protests. Killings. No matter where you turn, negativity is all around. No one has been immune from it. Not even me.

Living during a pandemic is overwhelming. I don’t want to live in fear and anger and hatred—that’s not who I am, but I have found myself being angry at everything. I couldn’t watch TV and not be reminded of what was happening in the world—I watch TV to escape reality, not relive it.  Angry at the stupidity of people. Angry at people who believe differently than me. Angry at all the vaccination posts. Angry at all the political posts by both sides.  Angry at all the rules and regulations government officials are trying to impose on us without any logical explanation. EVERYTHING. I have been living with a ball of anger inside. I convinced myself it was righteous anger—even Jesus got angry, and He destroyed the temple in His anger. I am not Jesus, and my anger wasn’t righteous. I was angry to be angry. I don’t like being angry all the time. Earlier this week I was talking to a friend who said, “your angry is other people’s mild irritation.”  While that may be how I express my angry, that’s not how I was feeling inside.

I felt stuck. I felt overwhelmed. Upset. The last two months have been personally difficult. I have been dealing with issues that have caused my anger to stew deep within me. The other day, my mom pointed out, “you’re angry and hostile a lot lately.” Damn. People besides me were noticing. Today, on my walk to work, I heard a song called “Beautiful World” by Dierks Bentley and Patty Griffin (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjLJvqpRt_8). I have heard the song hundreds of times, but today the lyrics hit me differently: “All the noise and the voices are screaming / What they have to say / And the headlines and sound bites are giving me / Demons to hate / And the man on TV / He tells me it’s ugly… / Ooh, there’s tears and there’s fears / And there’s losses and crosses to bear / And sometimes the best we can do is just to whisper a prayer / Then press on because / There’s so much to live for and so much to love / In this beautiful world.” Sometimes, the words in music can speak to your soul and mind.

An Amazon search produces about 10,000 + results on books on positivity. That’s not including gratitude, thankfulness, happiness, etc. A couple of years ago I read/watched the Netflix special The Secret (book by Rhonda Byrne) in which a group of scholars, artists, writers stated the secret to life is gratitude. I did the study and found myself to be happier. Since I read the book, there have been several more books and other products released on the same subject. You can find more information at: https://www.thesecret.tv/products/the-secret-book/. It’s worth the read and watch if you want to be more happy.

I have fallen out of the routine and habits I formed while reading that book. Last week, someone I dislike very much, said something very kind to me, and I decided that I was going to follow her example. I am going to become more positive by choosing to see the positive. After all, positivity is a choice. Choices acted upon become habit.  Experts say it takes 21 days to form a habit. 21 days isn’t long enough, so I am going to do 100. During those 100 days I am going to find something positive to say to someone about them to them. I am hoping this will not only help me stay more positive, but that it will impact others’ lives by brightening their day.  Hopefully, my positivity will have a ripple effect. I am going to call it the Positivity Project. I will journal about my experiences during those 100 days and share them with others, so I can hopefully help others be more positive. (I am thinking of starting this project in June). It’s always good to put positivity into the world, and it’s never bad to remind people what there positive qualities are; I know I like hearing from other people what they value about me.

In the meantime, I am going to try some techniques to be more positive. Some I have had in my arsenal for years; others are new techniques for me.

• One of my 2021 goals was to keep a gratitude journal. Each day I write down 5 things in a journal that I am glad/thankful/grateful for. I journal the list before I go to bed at night, so I go to sleep with good thoughts in my head. I have found most days it’s easy to come up with the list, even if I have had a rough day. The list has helped me realize there is always something positive in each day—even if we have to look for it. Our positivity may come from something A lot of times the things on my list are small moments that may seem inconsequential but give me reasons to smile. It’s nice to have those reminders each and every day.
• Music is such an important part of life. It can totally change our mood. Or, if we choose, not change it. I have been known to listen to my “angry playlist” when I want to justify my anger. I also have a “sad playlist” I play when I just need a good cry. Of course, I listen to Greek music, when I am homesick for my favorite place. When I am feeling down on myself I play Dierks’ “You Can’t Bring Me Down” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca8C6Pc09EM)–) I can’t help but smile when I hear this song. The banjo/fiddle/dobro break at the end is amazing. I also listen to his song “Riser,” which reminds me things could always be worse, and there is ALWAYS hope (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca8C6Pc09EM). Then there is my yearly theme song, which is fittingly “I’m Still Standing” by Elton John (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHwVBirqD2s). I am a fighter. I can survive anything.
• I have struggled to write lately. More than usual. I need to get back to it. I remember when I was in my writing class in college, one of my peers said, “your writing always has an element of happiness to it, even when it’s sad.” I thought it was odd when she said it, but I have realized it might be true—even when life gets really tough, I always have hope, and I feel my poetry demonstrates that quality. A few weeks ago some long ago friends were visiting my parents, and when my parents gave them a copy of Eleutheria they carried on about what a big accomplishment writing a book was. I haven’t thought about it in a while. Writing a novel was a labor of love, which tested my patience and abilities, and helped strengthen my character and my writing. I need to share the other books/stories/poems I have written/have outlined. Writing and editing brings me joy. I need to do more of it.
• A few years ago, a co-worker gave me a purple Mason jar. In it was a small note. On the note she wrote what she appreciated about me. It was very touching. At the beginning of this year I cut note cards into fourths and put them beside the jar on my fireplace mantle. When something good/positive happens to someone, they can write it on one of the note cards and put it in the jar. At the end of the year, I will read all the positive experiences people have had throughout the year.. This one is one of my favorites because the positivity is anonymous and will be a surprise.
• Choose to be positive. There are a lot of situations where I choose to be negative, where it would just as easy to be positive. Then, I get sucked in and allow everything to go negative. No one wants to live like that. No one wants to be around someone who is like that. I will choose the positive. Sometimes, attitude is all about perspective: if we look for the negative, we will find it, but if we look for the positive, we will find it.
• I planted a tiny garden with mint, strawberries, and flowers in it. I will have to put work into it, but that good work will bring forth beauty. Adding beauty to the world is never a bad thing, and having something positive to focus my energy on will help ensure I don’t get stuck in a negative mindset. I also plan on having positive art around my house. A beautiful white peacock. Elephants. Pictures of Santorini. Flowers. Things that make me happy and feel better about myself and the world. I will surround myself with positive things—hopefully, they will rub off on me, and I can share positivity with others.

During the pandemic I have heard about other people’s stories, and I’ve decided things could always be worse. My friend Rachael came here from China last year because her mom passed away. She can’t go back to China because of Covid. She has been here in the States, without her kids, for over a year—yes, there is facetime and phone calls, but she hasn’t been able to see her kids or hug them in over a year. How awful that must be! She and I have talked several times about it, and she’s always so positive about the situation. I don’t think I would handle the situation with such grace and positivity.

When things are bad in our lives, it’s easy to think: “woe is me.” Human nature is to take a situation and think about all the worst-case scenarios that could happen in that situation—we can’t help ourselves; it’s how our brain operates—it goes back to our fight-flight response. What if we retrained our brains to think of the best-case scenario? How differently would life be? When something bad happens in my life, I have been trying to ask myself—what can I learn from this? How can I use this situation to my advantage?

I’ve noticed, even bad situations have a tendency to turn out to my benefit in some way. I walked into my dentist office a couple months ago, there was a sign on the desk that said, “It’s going to be all right.” Everything bad I thought would happen, hasn’t happened. Or if something bad has happened, it hasn’t been nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. Terrible situations have reminded me what my strengths are. Those same situations have helped me work on my weaknesses. I can survive the awful things life has thrown at me. Everything has turned out all right. I am all right.

Here is my challenge to you and me alike: choose to be positive. Tell yourself what’s good in the world and in your life. If you struggle one day, don’t get down on yourself. The following day is a new day, and you can try again. One of the greatest things about being human is you can try and try again. Jon Gordon said, “Being positive won’t guarantee you’ll succeed. But being negative will guarantee you won’t. “  THINK POSITIVE; BE POSITIVE. After all, positivity is a mindset and a lifestyle.