Complacency

Lately, I have realized I live my life by going through the motions. I wake up. I go to work. I come home, eat, read, watch Jeopardy, do my journaling activities, and go to bed. I job hunt, a lot. May-July I went to my second job. Sometimes, I go to the store to buy groceries or other items I need/want. I hang out with friends, occasionally. Generally, I go through the same routine day-by-day. I am tired, and I am bored. I feel unmotivated. I feel lazy, and I know I have become complacent in life. I haven’t been me. I felt stuck, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I am not completing my goals that I set for myself. I am making excuses as to why I am not getting things done. Not cool. I read on Twitter: “Complacency is a disease and thus can be cured with the correct medicine.” But what is the correct medicine? Upon some reflection, I have thought of several ways to help combat complacency for me (and you). 

1. Embrace Creativity.  I realized that I stopped writing poetry consistently. For me, poetry is an outlet. As a person who doesn’t excel at sharing emotions, poetry is a way for me to get my emotions out. Even if no one ever reads my poetry, getting pen to paper is therapeutic. Complacency is often a symptom of boredom, and there is no better cure for boredom than tackling a new project. Find ways to break out of your routine. Find ways to “color” your world—no matter how you do it. Write. Draw. Dance. Sing. Share it. Make yourself vulnerable. Make yourself uncomfortable. Even if you hate every minute of it, putting yourself out there is one of the best ways to grow as a person. Embracing creativity can also help you find meaning, and that may be just what you’re looking for.  
2. Accountability. Most people perform tasks better if they are held accountable for their role in those tasks. No one wants to live in/be reminded of their failures, but if there is no accountability, a culture of complacency can quickly be created. Try an accountability partner—it could be a friend, a roommate, a family member—just make sure it’s someone you feel obliged to answer to. Write down your goals, and make people know what those goals are, so other people know what you are aiming to do. This will create motivation inside you because someone will know what your plans are. Even if you are a self-motivated person, accountability is still helpful. It’s always good to be reminded to do your best every day. Accountability helps us break bad habits and help you continually progress. 
3. Help Someone Else. Success is contagious. When I was getting my PhD, it was extremely helpful to me to workshop/mentor other PhD students through their work. It was almost as exciting for me to see them finish their steps, as it was to finish my own. At times, my own work felt tedious and boring, but reading and reviewing other people’s work helped me understand the importance of doing my own. It also allowed me to take a break from the boredom and stress of my own work, but still feel like I was accomplishing something. After I helped them, I often felt rejuvenated to keep working on my own project.  
4. Small Successes. Remember, I said success was contagious? Even small bits of success are addictive. Once you achieve something, you want to keep achieving things. Completing, even small tasks, releases dopamine into our body, which is key to our success motivation. So, if you feel complacency creeping in, hone in on small successes, and get your dopamine flowing. Your body will want more success, and you’ll be compelled to be non-compliant.  
5. The Power of Yes. Create a culture of Yes in your life. In life, it’s easily to say “no” to things because we are tired, worried about paying the bills, etc. BUT NO has never driven success. In fact, no hinders success. Sir Richard Branson has built the Virgin empire by following the motto: “Screw it, let’s do it.” Find ways to say yes more often. Even if you think something is not going to work, try it. What if you are surprised, and it does work out? If you’re already in a complacent funk, say “yes” to the next opportunity that comes your way, and see where your “yes” takes you.  
6. Set a Deadline. I am a planner. My calendar is a super important aspect of my life. I often write goals, and deadlines for my goals, in my planner. When I know the deadline is looming, I work harder to accomplish the task before the deadline. It’s easy to fall into the trap of not placing deadlines on personal goals. Who, but you, would know if you didn’t meet the deadline? It’s easy to fudge the deadline when only you know what the deadline is. DO NOT FALL INTO THE TRAP. If you don’t set a deadline, the task will never get accomplished. If you push the deadline, the project won’t get finished. This is reality. Deadlines encourage action. (Think of college. How many all-nighters are pulled to get a paper or project done. I know when I was in college, a lot). Deadlines are inherently motivational. Set deadlines for yourself, and you’re more likely to accomplish those goals. Make sure when you accomplish a task, you recognize your accomplishments.  
7. Set Reasonable Goals. When you achieve one goal, set another. Goals are essential, but they may also be holding you back. If your goals are unrealistic, or don’t have a deadline (!), it’s easy to throw them to the wayside. Likewise, if they are too large, and you feel like you can’t accomplish them, they might not get accomplished. Try setting smaller goals to help you achieve the larger goal. If your room needs to be cleaned, start by folding laundry, then dust, then vacuum. Doing a task this way, may take longer, but it will help you accomplish small goals, which will in turn motivate you to keep going (Remember, dopamine). I did this for my dissertation. I set multiple goals to help break the paper into smaller, more manageable tasks. The project didn’t seem SO big when I broke it down into smaller, doable pieces. After I accomplished each task, I rewarded myself. That’s why I have 14 stuffed sharks—I reminded myself to just keep swimming! Every goal you set should have a “why,” as well as actionable steps to make that goal a reality. I highly recommend you set diverse goals, too. That way you won’t get bored. Chelsea Babin, a renowned businesswoman stated a “blend of long-term and short-term goals will deliver a periodic sense of success and give you something to reach for in the future.” This is really good advice to follow. 
8. Change Your Routine. If you are bored doing the same thing every day, do something different. If you drive the same way home from work, try a new route. Go to a different coffee shop. Change the order you do things, if you can. Try new music. I love doing this—I find songs I never thought I would like when I try new playlists. You never know what you will find if you try something new. If you don’t like the change you make, try something else. It’s always good to try something until you find what works best for you, and what will help you get out of/not get stuck in a rut.  
9. Conquer Fear. Sometimes we become complacent because we are afraid to push ourselves. We fear negative reactions from others (we often care too much about what other people think). We fear failure. For instance, you may not try a new skill because you’re afraid you won’t be good at it. Conquering fear isn’t for the faint of heart—it takes work, effort. To really conquer fear, figure out why you’re afraid, what will happen if your fear comes true, and how you would react if your fear comes to fruition. To really minimize the impact of your fear, break it up into small, more manageable (and realistic) pieces. Often, we are not really afraid of what we think we are afraid of.  
10.  Find Outside Help.  Sometimes, as hard as we try, we can’t move forward on our own. We need help. Utilize your family and friend group, but don’t abuse them. Find a life coach to talk to. My life coach has been one of the best things I have done for myself. Even though we don’t always talk about anything groundbreaking, having a non-partial listener to hear what I am thinking/feeling is enough to help. I get my ideas out, and we discuss ideas on how I can move forward. I have discovered things about myself I wouldn’t have realized on my own. My life coach helps me set goals for myself, and she is someone for me to be accountable to. Even Rocky had a coach. Mickey and Apollo Creed helped him move his career to the next level. Nobody knows everything, and asking someone else for help is not a sign of failure. If you ask for someone else’s help, it actually shows strength. You are allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and you are going beyond where your own knowledge can take you.  
11. Challenge Yourself. Here’s the thing about a challenge: when you rise to meet a challenge, you move out of complacency and feel more whole/alive. When you challenge yourself, you force yourself to leave the comfort of complacency and leave a life of comfort into a charged life. If you don’t know where to start, here are 4 suggestions: 1) Make a list of things you know you could do, or have wanted to do, to improve yourself, but haven’t taken action because it’s easier not to.; 2) Pick one of the activities you identified, and commit to it.; 3) Commit to action.; 4) Take action—do what you say you’re going to do. If you challenge yourself, you will stop acting complacently. Push yourself to follow through. Keep the commitment to yourself. Empower yourself. Empowered people are rarely complacent people.  

It’s easy to feel complacent. Sometimes, success makes us complacent. We feel we can do no better, or we’ve achieved all we can. This is especially true in the workplace. Unfortunately, complacency makes us lose motivation, and we don’t progress. If you are feeling complacent, put at least one of these cures into practice. Try it this week. See if it works—if it doesn’t, try another one. Eventually, one will work for your benefit. The best advice I can give you is to try. As much as you wish it could happen, complacency isn’t just going to go away when we wake up one day—we have to work to make it go away. 

Complacency may impact your personal well-being. It may affect your heath if you are choosing not to exercise because you don’t feel motivated, A lack of motivation might also cause you to eat less healthy. It’s easier to buy fast food than to make a homemade meal, especially after we’ve worked a long day. When we stop exercising and eating right, we look down on ourselves. Then, we can become stuck in a cycle that’s hard to get ourself out of. Complacency might also impact your relationships. A lack of motivation blocks you from making new connections, or experiencing new things. No one will willingly hang out with someone who is not going to put any effort into the relationship. We may stay silent, instead of saying how we really feel, to keep the peace/ not “rock the boat,” which is complacency. We need to say how we feel—that too, helps us be our best self. If we don’t speak up, we may have built up resentment and anger inside. That only impacts us.  

Complacency is pleasure with yourself and your merits, which isn’t inherently bad. However, complacency can make us unaware of potential danger or defect. Complacency can also be looked at in this way: a couch potato, happy to come home and watch endless hours of tv, even though you know you would be better off/more productive doing something else. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes we need a day to binge-watch and do nothing, but if you’re doing that every day, you’ve become complacent. Watching tv is easy, and the shows often make you feel good. TV allows you to turn your brain off and not think for a while. After a long day of work, it’s nice to engage in a mindless activity rather than push yourself to do something to better yourself in some way. If you’re consistently making this choice, that’s complacency. Complacency needs change. 

Often, complacency isn’t big. It’s little choices we make. It’s easier not to exercise, so we don’t. We pile the dishes in the sink, instead of putting them in the dishwasher or washing them. We tell ourselves we will do it tomorrow. We procrastinate. We tell ourself we will do it later. These little moments of complacency say “I am happy with the way things are. I’ll do what I always do. I’ll do what’s easy, even if it’s not best for me.” That’s no way to live. It’s lying to yourself. It’s not helping yourself progress. 

Complacency needs to be avoided. The best way to do so is by challenging yourself. My challenge to you (and me) is to challenge yourself to no longer live in complacency.