The Truth About Introverts!

We live in an extrovert-centric world, but we aren’t all built the same way. Introverts have often been misunderstood and miscategorized. It takes one to know and to truly understand. Some of us are shy, socially awkward loners, while others are emotionally fragile geniuses, and others (like me) are both. Noone is any of these one-dimensional depictions that fail to capture the nuanced reality of what it means to be an introvert. The most common myth behind being an introvert is: we’re all inherently socially anxious and uncomfortable around others. For many of us, this is true, but it is difficult to stereotype all introverts into the same category.  

Research has shown that most introverts prefer smaller social settings and tend to be more reserved, that doesn’t mean we can’t handle the opposite. I love going on, but I have to mentally prepare to do it, and there are times when I don’t want to do it, and I won’t do it. Some research has demonstrated introverts can be just as socially skilled as extroverts. We simply express and recharge our social batteries differently (McCord & Joseph, 2020). Usually when we are out in larger crowds, we need to rest and recharge for a few hours or days—introverts don’t go out night after night. There has been a correlation between introverts and social anxiety. Studies have found that introverted individuals are more likely to experience social anxiety compared to their extroverted counterparts (Cain, 2012; Noya & Vernon, 2019). The quiet, reflective nature of introverts can make us more prone to self-consciousness, fear of negative evaluation, and avoidance of social situations (Alexandru, 2021). When I am out in public, I am continuously evaluating what I am doing to ensure I don’t do anything wrong or awkward. During Hannah’s recent wedding, I was so anxious about someone noticing me messing up, I had my thinking face on the entire wedding. I wasn’t smiling in one picture. Which is really a bummer.

The correlation between introversion is well-documented, but it’s not absolute. Our world is not black and white, and no one behaves the same way in every situation they face. There is an interplay between introversion, extroversion, and social anxiety that ebbs and flows in different situations; this relationship is complex and highly individualized. We need to avoid making broad generalizations and to approach each person with an open and understanding mindset. I consider myself an extroverted introvert. I have learned to adapt to my surroundings. I can be extroverted when I am at work or on an outing, but in most situations, I want to be quiet and calm. In most situations, I want to be an introvert.

On the other hand, some experts may struggle with social anxiety. Introversion and social anxiety exist on separate spectrums, and an individual can exhibit characteristics of both. Understanding this more nuanced dynamic is crucial to avoiding overgeneralized assumptions about the relationship between introversion and social discomfort. I do tend to overanalyze situations–in every angle–sometimes causing anxiety, which I have to talk myself out of. 

Psychologists use The Big 5 to determine one’s level of ambiversion—the combination of extroversion and introversion. The five-factor personality model includes agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism, in addition to extroversion. This is how I view myself in these areas. I am not a super agreeable person—some say I am contrary; I just know who I am, and I know what I want, and I will tell you if I don’t agree with you. If you think that’s disagreeable, then I am disagreeable. I am somewhat open, but not fully—I will share with you based on the trust I have in you—I don’t not like to be vulnerable with others. It’s not a skill I excel at—in fact, I struggle with being vulnerable. I am very closed off, sometimes. Again, it depends on the situation and the person I am with—I have learned sometimes I have shared too much, and then I will close myself off.  If I let you in, know I trust you. My circle is small, and I don’t confide in many people. ***Note that while easier, writing is still vulnerability for me, and sometimes, I must force myself to share my thoughts/feelings/ideas.  I am very conscientious. I am always striving to be better. I am not neurotic—though I have my moments.

Introverts are often misunderstood and face biases in the world, where a quieter, more reflective nature may be perceived negatively compared to extroverted peers (McCord & Joseph, 2020). Understanding and accommodating introverts is important for creating inclusive environments that recognize the value they bring to the table. Many organizations still tend to favor extroverted traits, such as assertiveness, high energy, and a propensity for public speaking. This can create an environment where introverts feel undervalued or overlooked. Yet there can be immense benefits when organizations actively embrace and accommodate introverts. Yet introverts excel at paying attention to detail, analytical thinking, and ability to work independently, which can be assets to organizations of all types. Including introverts can lead to increased innovation, problem-solving, and overall organizational success. Another common misconception people have is that introverts are passive, submissive, and lacking in confidence. On the contrary, introverts can be highly assertive, ambitious, and self-assured. Most of the time, I consider myself the latter, though I have analyzed the situation I am in to death. The key difference is that they tend to be more selective about when and how they express these qualities. Introverts often excel in roles that allow them to work independently and leverage their strengths in analysis, problem-solving, and deep thinking. I am a thinker. My mind is always going—it never stops (it’s quite annoying actually).

Not all introverts are reclusive hermits. I tend to prefer to be alone, especially when I need to recharge—I will hole myself away for a little bit. I don’t hate social interactions; I just prefer them to be in quieter, more intimate settings. I do not need external stimulation. Instead, I prefer to look inward. One of my *favorite* activities is internal evaluation, lol. Assuming all introverts are hermit-like and socially isolated does not reflect the diverse ways introverts contribute to society. 

Research also suggests that many introverts may possess a heightened sensory processing sensitivity, which can contribute to their reflective nature and tendency towards deep processing, empathy, and creativity (Aron & Aron, 1997; Jagiellowicz et al., 2011). I know I have Sensory Processing Disorder—I get overwhelmed by too many noises and my brain “shuts off” when overwhelmed. I know my brain is overloaded because I find myself blankly staring into space—I know what is going on, but it’s as if my brain is frozen. Researcher, Aron (2013) posited that heightened sensory processing sensitivity, combined with introversion, may lead some introverts to demonstrate exceptional intellectual abilities. Yet, we must not overgeneralize; some introverts may simply prefer to channel their sensitivities into more introspective or niche pursuits. For example, an introverted writer’s ability to delve deeply into complex topics, to synthesize information in unique ways, and to convey nuanced perspectives can be truly remarkable. I have found that my own introverted tendencies, such as a preference for solitary reflection and a keen eye for detail, have been invaluable assets in my editing work, and in learning from and reading other people’s perspectives. Introvert’s strengths and challenges are not mutually exclusive.

Introverts, like any other group, are on a large spectrum—a remarkably diverse group of individuals. We are not defined by certain characteristics, but by a preference for introspection, a lower need for external stimulation, and a tendency to direct their energy inward. According to LMFT, Blake Griffin Edwards, recognizing the nuanced interplay between introversion, sensitivity, confidence, social presence, and intellectual gifts is crucial to avoid conflating distinctly distinctive characteristics, to avoid reductive stereotypes, and to appreciate the full range of introverted personalities and contributions. 

A simple Google search will tell you there are many outrageously successful people who are natural introverts. In fact, in many cases, being an introvert is what made their lives prosperous. Some famous introverts include Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Albert Einstein, Meryl Streep, Ghandhi, Michael Jordan (!), and Elton John, just to name a few. That’s a diverse and exceptional group to be a part of!