Worth the Wait

When I was writing my dissertation, I often had to wait. Wait on responses. Wait on approval. Wait, wait, wait.  I always thought I was a patient person, until I had to do all that waiting, and I realized I become anxious and agitated during times which I have to wait—especially for important things. I also realized all the things we wait for in life. All the things I am personally waiting for. 

We wait in line. For coffee. To check out. We wait for our quarterback to tell us he is coming back to the team (Oh wait, that’s only Packers’ fans). In the words of John Mayer “we’re waiting on the world to change” (John Mayer – Waiting On the World to Change (Official Video) – YouTube). 

 We wait a lot. Most of us grumble and complain while we are waiting, but maybe it’s really not so bad. According to a study published in Psychology Science (Waiting for Merlot: Anticipatory Consumption of Experiential and Material Purchases – Amit Kumar, Matthew A. Killingsworth, Thomas Gilovich, 2014 (sagepub.com)), people don’t mind waiting. This study specifically showed people don’t mind waiting for experiences compared to waiting for material possessions. People like the anticipation of big-time purchases. In a world of instant gratification, the studies showed people find pleasure in planning to purchase something. Delaying makes the process better.  

Of course, there are cases where waiting is never fun. Being on hold or sitting at the DMV—two activities that are never fun. I recently saw the movie Zootopia, and there is a scene that took place at the DMV that felt all too real: Zootopia: Meet the Sloth. HD ( DMV Scene) – YouTube. Of course, these activities are ones we must do in life.  

My friend and I were talking about this last week. She, just went through a long waiting period, to find out she was pregnant. She endured the wait better than I would have. I say endured because she suffered while she waited. She went through IVF and was poked, prodded, etc. It was not fun. After months of trying, she is now pregnant. She knows better than most what it’s like to wait for something you want in the worst way. It causes pain, anxiety, and anticipation. 

What trivial/worldly things are worth the wait. I recently found a list of 12 of those things: 

1. Black Friday—I usually like to shop on Cyber Monday. The deals are usually good if you want to face the chaos. 
2. Movies/Music/TV–We all love to be entertained, and we love getting the answers to cliffhangers. I hope Dierks Bentley’s new music comes soon. It’s been 4 years.  
3. Texts—wait to send them, wait to read them, have real conversations with the humans you are with. The text from your special someone will be there when you get to it, and the wait is probably good for them, too. 
4. Tech deals—new phones usually have glitches and bugs, and if you can wait a little bit of time, those bugs will most likely be worked out, and you can spend less money. 
5. Medical—ask for a second opinion; know your options.  
6. Cooking—food cooked on the stove is healthier and often tastier than food cooked in the microwave.  
7. Religion—finding out what you believe or don’t believe is often painstaking, but it’s a process worth exploring. When you know what you truly believe, your beliefs will be firmer. You can also grow and learn by exploring religions you have never considered before. 
8. Anger—while stewing in your anger is bad, sitting with it may help you gain perspective and understand what role you played in a specific situation. It’s best not to fly off the handles, and get yourself in more trouble than necessary. 
9. Jobs—we apply for a job, but then we wait for the interview; wait for the acceptance of the job; wait to start the job. Then, we start the job, and we wait for our vacation; wait for the promotion; wait for the raise.  
10. Marriage—studies have shown in recent years people are waiting until they are older in life to get married. There may be a lot of reasons for this—we wait because we want to be more established in our careers, and we want to make more money. Ultimately, I think it boils down to the fact we live longer nowadays, so we want to live our lives to the fullest. We don’t have to get married at 16 because most likely we won’t die in our 40s People are also not waiting for “The One” before they have sex. There are benefits to waiting, though. WebMD found people who waited are 22% more satisfied in their sexual quality, and those relationships are also more stable. 
11. Pregnancy—in line with marriage, people are waiting until they are older to have children. This comes with risks and bonuses, so people have to decide when it’s right to have and raise children. 
12. Wisdom—our knowledge comes from our experiences-whether good or bad. We live; we learn, and we choose based on that knowledge the next time. We don’t gain all our knowledge in one moment, one day, or one season. Wisdom takes time and energy. 

Many religious people will use the phrasing: “in my season of waiting.” Until recently, I never understood the word choice. Seasons have to do with weather. Or do they? I researched the term season. Yes, most of the results had to do with the weather, but Merriam-Webster gave me some clarity. Here are things I learned from their online dictionary:

a time characterized by a particular circumstance or feature

b: a suitable or natural time or occasion (when we’re going through it, the time doesn’t seem suitable). 

c: an indefinite period of time (This is not promising. For people like me, I like to plan, and I like to know when things are going to start and end).  

1. a: a period of the year characterized by or associated with a particular activity or phenomenon 
2. a period marked by special activity especially in some field 

To be in season means something is happening “at the right time.”–this was key to my thought process. Often, our human nature wants things right now, and in the terms we want them, but often things happen how and when they are supposed to—things happen at the right time. 

Then, I realized the song, “Seasons of Love” from the Broadway musical Rent describes our seasons of life. The song describes how we can never really measure life, and we should just love each other in the time we have together. If you want to check out the video, here it is: https://youtu.be/UvyHuse6buY 

I have been in a season of waiting for what seems like forever. Not just for one or two things, but I have been waiting for a lot of things. I am not waiting very patiently—or at least I don’t think I am. I feel I talk to the Universe/God every day about the same things. My daily vision journal has the same 3statements (or a close variation of them) written every day—very personal statements of things in my life I want to come to fruition. The 3items have been the same since last January. I write them every day in hopes they will happen—some days believing they never will. Yet, I write them. EVERY DAY. Diligently. I wait on them. 

When I graduated with my PhD, I expected to get a job fairly quickly. Not right away, but within a few months. Then Covid happened, and the world stopped (well stalled), and over two years later, I still haven’t found the right position. I haven’t even had a lot of interviews, and it’s frustrating. I have scheduled several appointments with Career Services, and the counselor keeps telling me I am doing everything right. While I don’t mind my job, I am ready to do something in my field—I got a PhD to work in policy, and I am ready to help people through my education and experience. Yet, I am still waiting….in the meantime, I keep applying to jobs that sound interesting and keep learning new information to help me in my future job. I am always looking for opportunities to enhance my CV and resume. 

In this season of life, everyone I know is having babies or getting married. It’s hard not to feel left out, even if those are life events I am not particularly interested in. I recently heard the song “Everyone She Knows” by Kenny Chesney, and it hit home: Kenny Chesney – Everyone She Knows (Official Music Video) – YouTube 

Most days I am completely satisfied in my life situation. I am independent, and I love being on my own. Still, I have these moments when I wish my kismet, karmic connection person was here and happening. I know he and I are on the same path right now, which is not what I want. Maybe we are learning something we need to know to be better together, and we haven’t learned it. I don’t know what to Universe has in store. While I am waiting (understanding they might never) for the paths to converge, I am trying to sit more in feelings, and listen to my intuition to discover what I truly want and need. I know this connection is worth the wait—I feel it in my bones. It’s complex. I don’t sit and pine for him, even though he is what I want because that’s going to help nothing. I am actively working to be a better person in my personal life, so if we do end up together, we will be able to go boldly and courageously into the future. (Some of these words were those of a close friend, and I want to give her credit for them). Again, a song comes to mind on how I feel:  Elliott Yamin – Wait For You – YouTube 

As you have read, I have had major dental issues over the past couple years. To fix them has been a wait. Wait for to have a procedure. Wait to get an appliance. I am finally nearing the end. I have one procedure left in April!!! After 6 weeks, I will have a consultation for Invisalign to repair the misalignment that came along with 4 new teeth. I thought about skipping this step because it’s expensive and 18-24 more months of dental visits, but I would like to bite normal again, and I would really love to have a smile I don’t feel self-aware of. I often feel embarrassed by my teeth, even though other people don’t notice them.  

In this waiting season, I have learned some things about myself. About patience. About courage to act when you feel nothing happens for your benefit. About persistence—taking one more step forward, when you really would just rather quit, give up, or sit in the corner and cry. Life is a series of actions—what we do while we wait. I am not perfect. I stumble, and I fall. I pick myself up and dust off, try again the next day. That’s all I can expect of myself—to be better, to do better, to wait better.

Music has always driven me. It has helped me through many tough situations during life. During this waiting period, music has meant hope, love, patience, so many things to me, as I progressed forward. The Song “Lessons Learned” by Carrie Underwood describes it well: Lessons Learned 

Let’s all try to wait a little better when we must wait. Who knows, what we are waiting for might be worth the wait.