Homesick

For about a year, I have deeply missed Greece and everything about it. I have never not missed Greece since I left my second home. Since I left there, I have often made Greek food for dinner, and I buy Greek items, such as candies and books and worry beads (the first fidget spinners). When I am rich, I am buying my own, secluded Greek Island. I am going to call it Mono Nissi (Alone Island). Kayla teases me and calls it my Mono Kamono Salano Poblano (rhymes keep getting added, lol). I told Cash he could move there with me, and in typical 11-year-old smart-ass fashion he said, “Actually Moe alone means present. I looked it up in the dictionary” (touché).  I have been taking Greek lessons for about a year—I have been driving my family crazy, but I am learning. Μιλώ λίγο. In my heart, I miss Greece. For me, it’s my second home. People may not understand it, but Greece is where my heart resides. To put it mildly, I am homesick.  

I miss the sights, the smells, the people, the way of life—it’s slower and people walk everywhere (pedestrian streets for the win!) I miss Noodle Bar and seeing the Acropolis everywhere I go. I loved the smell of the air. I reveled in the history and how much Greek people honor the stories of their past. I miss how proud Greeks are of their heritage and culture. I love that even though I’ve been away for years, I’ve seen pictures, and I still know right where everything is. I wish we had a rest period in the middle of the day—we should have those. There’s nothing really I don’t miss about Greece. I absolutely adore my country. 

Homesickness comes from the Greek word (hmm) νοσταλγία (nostalgia), which Greeks use when they are longing something The word nostalgia is a learned formation of a Greek compound, consisting of νόστος (nóstos), meaning “homecoming”, a Homeric word, and ἄλγος (álgos), meaning “pain.” 

Homesickness is the distress caused by being away from home. It’s a normal phenomenon. Not just for children, but adults, too. Reports have found sufferers typically report a combination of depressive and anxious symptoms, withdrawn behavior, and difficulty focusing on topics unrelated to home. While I do talk about Greece a lot, I do have other interests. I am not depressed or anxious not being there, but I would love to be there. Mildly, homesickness prompts the development of coping skills and motivates healthy attachment behaviors, such as renewing contact with loved ones. Homesickness helps us relate to the people in our world, even if we are away from home. Being homesick is a universal experience (for most), and I always will miss things about there: the pace of life, the food, the lifestyle. When my parents visited me there, my mom said I was meant to be there. 

Homesickness is mentioned in Exodus in the Bible, as well as Homer’s Odyssey, whose opening scene features Athena arguing with Zeus to bring Odysseus home because he is homesick (“…longing for his wife and his homecoming…”).  Hippocrates, the Greek physician, believed that homesickness was caused by black bile in the blood—an actual sickness. In more modern history, homesickness was associated with Swiss and German immigrants in the 16th-19th centuries. Writer Susan J. Matt wrote a book about the history of American homesickness entitled Homesickness: An American History, which describes experiences of homesickness in colonists, immigrants, gold miners, soldiers, explorers, and others spending time away from home. First understood as a brain lesion, homesickness is now known to be a form of normative psychopathology that reflects the strength of a person’s attachment to home, native culture and loved ones, as well as their ability to regulate their emotions and adjust to novelty.    

Homesickness is related to separation and anxiety disorders. While I suffer from some anxiety, I do not struggle with separation. In truth, you are separated from home. Everyone* experiences some longing for home when they are away from home—food, experience, and other things that make the place they are from. For example, to this day, I still miss Old Dutch Dill Pickle Chips and cheese curds—I do get homesick for them.  

There are 5 risk factors of homelessness: age, attitude, personality, family, and experiences. Pretty self-explanatory. There are 5 preventative factors of homelessness: experience, personality, family, attitude, and environment. Again, self-explanatory. Factors which mitigate the prevalence or intensity of homesickness are the inverse of the risk factors of homesickness. Effective coping also diminishes the intensity of homesickness over time. Preventing homesickness by previous experiences, our beliefs, our attachments, and decision-making can lessen the impact the homesickness—in length or severity.  

The most effective way of coping with homesickness is complex. Psychologists have identified several ways to cope with homesickness. Mixed coping is that which involves both primary goals (changing circumstances) and secondary goals (adjusting to circumstances) ;layered coping  involves more than one method. This kind of sophisticated coping is learned through experience, such as brief periods away from home without parents. As an example of mixed and layered coping, one study. Research has revealed the following method-goal combinations to be the most frequent and effective ways for children: 

• Doing something fun (observable method) to forget about being homesick (secondary goal) 
• Thinking positively and feel grateful (unobservable method) to feel better (secondary goal) 
• Simply changing feelings and attitudes (unobservable method) to be happy (secondary goal) 
• Reframing time (unobservable method) to perceive the time away as shorter (secondary goal) 
• Renewing a connection with home, through letter writing (observable method) to feel closer to home (secondary goal) 
• Talking with someone (observable method) who could provide support and help them make new friends (primary goal) 

Sometimes, people will engage in dreaming, attempt to arrange a shorter stay or (rarely) break rules or act violently to be sent home. These ways of coping are rarely effective and can produce unintended negative side effects. 

I am learning to cope with my homesickness for Greece. I listen to Greek music. My favorite is Michalis Hatzigiannis. His voice is beautiful, and he often sings of his love for Greece, even though he is from Cyprus. I watch movies that take place in Greece. To this day, My Big Fat Greek Wedding is still a favorite. It is funny, but it’s actually accurate. I make Greek food all the time. I made moussaka the other day, which is a traditional Greek dish. Every Christmas and Easter I make Kourabedies, which are a traditional Greek cookie. Honestly, I would make them every day if I could. They are rich, buttery, and delicious. I dyed my dark red Easter egg for Western Easter and Orthodox Easter. I ordered new Worry Beads (komboloi) (for more information: Worry beads – Wikipedia), which I plan to carry with me to lessen my anxiety. I follow Greek news to the best of my ability—I know what’s happening there, and I cry when the news is devastating, and I am happy for “my people” when the news is good. My favorite tennis player is Greek (Stefanos Tsitsipas), and he looks like a Greek God. I prayed to Zeus for it to rain (hahah). I have read Classic Greek novels and am planning to read more. All things Greek are interesting to me, and I love learning more about the country I love. 

I want to go to the Greek market about 25 minutes away to go shopping for specialty food items from Greece. I know I could order them online but probably at a much higher cost. Maybe while I am there, I will go to a Taverna (which is a traditional Greek restaurant). My brother-in-law and I are going to a Greek Taverna on Saturday to have lunch together. I have already looked up the menu, and I am planning on ordering Souvlaki with fries. I am super excited. 

So, until I can afford to pay for my private Greek island (they are affordable), I will bide my time being a little homesick until I can make it happen. I will keep learning Ellenika—it’s day 351—making Greek dishes (I am more than happy to make people delicious food), and planning my life there, a visit must happen sooner than later. I hate I haven’t been there in what is too long…