Kindred Spirit

Kindred spirit (n)- a person whose attitudes or interests are similar to ones’ own. 

The Kindred Spirit Mailbox | thekindredspirit.net 

Have you ever been inspired by something you read, or saw on tv, or both? I have one of those stories and experiences. When I first moved to NC, 23 years ago, I first heard the story of Kindred Spirit. I called it the Magic Mailbox, and I vowed to one day visit there. Of course, as with most things, the mailbox was put on the backburner and forgotten. Then, a few years ago, I saw a special on NC PBS about traveling to treasures of the NC beaches, and there again was Kindred Spirit. Again, I wanted to go. Again, life got in the way. Then Covid happened. During Lockdown, I read a lot of books. One of those books was Every Breath by Nicholas Sparks. The book tells the story of two lovers, who fall in love at the wrong time in their lives, and Kindred Spirit plays a pivotal role in the novel’s story. The best part of the novel is that the story is based on true events. At the time, I was dealing with some heartbreak, so the book gave me some hope. My good friend, Lori, also read the book, and we decided we should visit Kindred Spirit together. Yet, the trip didn’t happen. When the trip finally happened, I didn’t go with Lori—I went with my friend, Emily. 

To understand why this mailbox is so important to people, and especially to me—why I felt I had to visit—you must first learn the story of the mailbox. Research doesn’t provide many facts on the origin of the mailbox. What I did find was this: the mailbox, which is located in a remote spot, called Bird Island, on Sunset Beach, has been a NC staple for 35 years. As the story goes, a man named Frank Nesmith, and his then girlfriend, Claudia, put the mailbox in its spot. Frank found Claudia struggling to put up the mailbox, so he found a piece of driftwood to steady it, and that’s how they met. Claudia wanted the mailbox to be a place where people who needed to find peace, comfort, and spiritual refuge could come and she came up with the idea for a mailbox filled with journals. Frank wanted to help Claudia fulfill her dreams, so he helped her upkeep the mailbox for over 30 years, even after she married someone else. Claudia passed away in 2013, and a friend, Jacqueline “Jack” DeGroot is now the keeper of the mailbox. In the summer, she collects the notebooks weekly. However, the entire legacy of the mailbox was kept secret until recently. 

The original mailbox has been replaced many times, but the original post Frank and Claudia placed in the beach still stands in the original location. Driftwood sits nearby to commemorate Frank and Claudia. The mailbox is named Kindred Spirit because as Frank said, “I always felt like the people that went down there were the kindred spirits. And they brought the kindred spirits when they come.” The mailbox holds multiple notebooks, pens, and a prayer box for visitors to write their hopes, dreams, etc., and place them inside. When the notebooks get collected, they are housed in UNCW’s Randall Library. I went to school at UNCW and never learned the notebooks were there until I researched Kindred Spirit’s origins. Located near the mailbox are two benches, where travelers can sit, reflect, and write in one of the journals (I didn’t know there were journals in the mailbox until after I had already written my letter). In 2015, a storm damaged the mailbox, the benches, and the American flag that proudly waves just behind the landmark. However, the damage was quickly fixed, and the legacy remains. 

Kismet (n)- fate, destiny 

When reading Every Breath, this line really stuck with me, “He suddenly felt that every step he had taken in his life had been on a path leading to her, as if she were his ultimate destination.” As someone, who has long held the belief in kismet, the novel, and this line, gave me hope and inspiration. It’s hard to explain, but have you ever met someone you had an instant connection with? Someone you felt was supposed to be in your life? (Some call it kismet, some call it meant-to-be, some call it fate or destiny, and some call it a soul tie.) My mantra for my situation has always been, “I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.”- Paulo Coelho. Love isn’t always logical—sometimes fate and destiny need to push it along. You have to meet someone to fall in love with them. 

My feelings are very private, only a couple people know them. Lori being one. After reading the novel, my friend, Lori, challenged me to write a letter for the mailbox for my kismet situation—in a way this person is a kindred spirit to me. The letter took me months to write. While I am a writer, writing down my own emotional thoughts and feelings is difficult for me—it’s as if putting pen to paper is an admission, and I have always struggled with vulnerability. I can’t tell you what I wrote in the letter because I wrote it months ago, and after I completed the letter, I sealed it. I can tell you it contains my truest feelings. After it was written, I placed it in my desk drawer until I could take it to the mailbox.  

That time was supposed to be July. But life and the weather happened. I won’t go into details, but Lori backed out of the trip. Another friend, Emily, is pregnant with her first child, and I thought it would be a great idea for her to go to Kindred Spirit and write her hopes and dreams for the baby in one of the journals, and place them in the mailbox. Plus, we always try to explore a new beach every summer. So far, we have been to Oak Island and Holden Beach. Our schedules aligned in mid-September, and that’s when we decided to go. Her husband was worried that at 8 months pregnant she would go into labor on our journey; she however, did not have the same worry, and don’t worry, she didn’t go into labor. 

There isn’t much to go on when traveling to Kindred Spirit. Basically, the best directions to find it are: start at the free parking at 40th street. From there, it’s about a 1.5 mile walk to the mailbox, which is a little hidden. So, if you’re not looking, you may miss it. Emily and I parked in some free parking we found along the rows of beach houses. We thought we were in the place we were supposed to be, but there is not a lot of signage at Sunset Beach. Alas, we were at the 36th street beach access. Instead of walking 1.5 miles, our walk was about 2.5 miles. Which was fine for me, but I was concerned it was too much for Emily. She took the walk like a trooper, though. She didn’t complain, except her feet were becoming raw because she didn’t wear shoes. (I had made that mistake on our trip to Holden Beach.) We almost missed the mailbox because she was walking near the water, and the dunes kind of hide the mailbox from sight. Luckily, I saw another couple walk up the dunes, and I followed them. 

When we got to the mailbox, the other couple was reading the notebook they had chosen to write in. To me, that is a violation of people’s emotions, and while I understand the people who add their thoughts to the notebooks know other people will read them, I didn’t feel it was my place to do so. Also, what they were reading didn’t seem to be what the notebook was intended for—they were reading the story of a creeper, who had exposed himself on the beach. They also read the line, “The Panthers will lose today because they suck, but the beach is beautiful.” That made me chuckle a little. 

When we got to Kindred Spirit, I slowly opened the mailbox, and placed my carefully written letter and my good intentions, inside. I tucked my letter on the side. I breathed in deeply and sat on the bench next to the mailbox. I sent all my good vibes into the universe, as I watched the waves and the clouds move slowly in front of me. The scene was introspection at its best, and for someone like me, who is more cerebral, peace and quiet is what I needed to get my emotions out. I love going to the beach and enjoying the sights and sounds surrounding me. On this trip, I sent my good intentions out into the world with the waves. There is truly magic at the beach. You can use the healing elements of the salt water to heal wounds. If you’re a nature lover, all 4 elements can be found there—earth, air, fire, and water. Lighthouses lead us home. Seaweed, driftwood, stones, and sand dollars all have divination stories and mornings. Seashells are a symbol of protection and the Greek goddess of love, Aphrodite. The beach holds a lot of mysticism—it’s truly a place good for the mind, body, and soul. Who doesn’t love the beautiful blue sky touching the rolling waters?

Emily finished her letter, and she asked me to read it, but I declined. Her letter was what on her mind and heart for her baby. I don’t know what the Kindred Spirit experience is like for most people, but I am a writer and a thinker, and the written word is how I get my emotions out—if I wouldn’t have pre-written my letter, we would have sat there a long time, and I am not sure Emily would have had the energy to sit and wait for me. (She would have because our friendship is special to both of us, but it would have been taxing for her.) Leaving my letter there for anyone to read is an interesting phenomenon for me. I sealed the envelope, and wrote my special code for my kismet person on the outside of the envelope. Maybe I should have opened the letter, read it at the mailbox, and then placed it inside. I am sure someone will open the letter and read it, but if I would’ve done so, I probably would’ve chickened out, and not placed the letter in the mailbox. Leaving the sealed envelope in the mailbox leaves the fate of the letter up to the Universe, and I have to have faith that what is meant to be, will be. This is both incredibly daunting and scary. Others can read my emotions, know my feelings. While I don’t think I put any identifying characteristics in the letter, my heart intentions are in the letter.  

I am not delusional. I am not a romantic—I don’t think love happens like it does in the movies—I know love doesn’t just fall into your lap, and then everything is happily ever after. I know love is hard. Love takes work. And people are involved—people make choices, even if fate is involved. As in Every Breath, Hope and Tru make decisions that keep them worlds apart for years, even choosing to be with other people. Somehow, though, they end up together. Life is like that—sometimes things happen we can’t explain, and we won’t ever understand. When these things happen, we have to take them in stride. All we can do is keep moving forward and do our best to be good people—following our intuition. If I’ve learned nothing else in life, I’ve learned this: usually our intuition is guiding us in the right direction, we just have to take the steps to follow what our intuition is saying. 

Putting all this information out into the world is nerve-racking. I feel nervous sharing this much about my personal information with this audience. Maybe, one day I will feel brave, and take a trip to Randall Library at UNCW, which I am an alumna, and find my letter in the stacks of notebooks on the shelves there and read what I wrote. Maybe, I will let the Universe take care of the letter. There are a lot of maybes. If you’re reading this, please respect my vulnerability, and let the story of my visit to Kindred Spirit lie in mine and your heart.