Memoir

Memoir- from the French/Latin for memory. I love reading memoirs. I love learning from other people’s life experiences from their point of view–I feel like there is something I can learn as an outsider getting a more intimate view of someone’s life. Unlike an autobiography or biography, a memoir usually tells a memoir often tells the story of a particular career, event, or time. Memoirs have been around since the time of Caeser but gained popularity in the early 90s with the rise of an increased interest in genealogy. A memoir is a way for ordinary people to tell their stories for their future generations.

This year alone I have “read” 14 memoirs. I say “read” because I have listened to them on audiobook. I like listening to people tell their stories in their own voices, in their own words. I have read memoirs from podcasters, athletes, actors/actresses, and people from specific cultures/identities (Native American). Each one has given me insight and wisdom I did not have prior to reading the novel. For instance, I will never know what it is like to grow up as a poor hill person from Kentucky to become a Harvard educated lawyer and politician (J.D. Vance, Hillbilly Elegy). Some have been enjoyable reads (Lauren Grahams) while others (Matthew Perry’s) have been tougher to get through. I have read about the lives of people I really admire—Betty White, Julie Andrews, and Carol Burnett. I have read about people’s lives I could never relate to (celebrities), and others like Jeanette McCurdy, who grew up in the LDS Church but never really was part of the LDS culture. Each memoir has given me a nugget of truth to reflect upon and to learn and grow from in my own life.

I admire people who write memoirs. Sharing firsthand experiences requires a vulnerability many do not want to expose themselves to. In the words of Brene Brown, an expert on the study of vulnerability, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness.” If you share your experiences, you are trying to connect with others. I have read some memoirs where I feel worthy after reading them, and I have felt the writer’s worthiness after reading their memoir. For Brown, “If it doesn’t feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive.” Vulnerability is the “quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally” (dictionary.com). Inherently, vulnerability requires a person to expose themself. While most people don’t expect to be harmed/attacked physically for their words, they are exposing themself to be attacked or harmed emotionally.

As a writer, as I have read memoirs, I have thought about what the writer was thinking as they put their thoughts/feelings/experiences on paper. Writing is a time-consuming, lengthy, and intellectual process. It takes a lot of energy and time to put words on paper. Then, add emotion to it, and you have reached a new level of vulnerability. It takes a lot…

Reading memoirs, I have often thought about what type of memoir I would write if I were to write one. Here are some of the types:

Anthology of life stories: a collection of short memoirs by different authors. (Obviously, if I were to write an anthology, I would need a group of authors to write with—classmates, co-workers, family, etc.)

Short book: a memoir that covers a specific period or theme in the author’s life.

Personal essay: a memoir that explores a personal insight or experience. (I have written a lot of personal essays on a variety of topics throughout my life. Honestly, writing a blog is a little like authoring a personal essay every month. You all get to read my personal essays on diverse topics.)

Transformative journey: a memoir that shows how the author changed or grew through a significant event or challenge.

History: a memoir that recounts the author’s involvement or witness of a historical event or era.

Confessional: a memoir that reveals the author’s secrets, mistakes, or regrets. (I don’t think I would ever write a confessional. Vulnerability is not my strength, and I don’t believe I want to expose my secrets or mistakes with others, and even though I have made mistakes, I don’t regret much. Mistakes are growing and learning experiences.)

Teaching: a memoir that shares the author’s expertise or lessons learned in a certain field or topic.

When I was 24, I wrote a memoir on relationships—things I learned and grew from. I wrote that memoir for my sister Hannah, who is 10 years younger than I am. I gave it to her as a gift after I returned from Greece. I don’t know if she ever read it, or if she did, she learned anything from it, but I hope it was meaningful for her. Sharing my life experiences with her was easy because she’s my sister, and even though I am not as “cool” or “street smart” as she is, it was meaningful for me to write it and give it to her. To give that information to others would be a completely different experience. Even if she rejected my message, I knew she would still love me—as a sister and as a person.

Now, years later, as a person with many more life experiences, I think of what I could and would write about if I were to write about my life. Here are some ideas I have thought about:

My PhD studies—what those 4 years really entailed. From the pressure, the decisions, the sacrifices, etc. To ensure that I finished in 4 years. This memoir would include stories about what getting a PhD meant to not only me but my family as well. I would also include the disappointment of achieving this milestone during a pandemic, when the world was shut down.

A lifetime of being named after my grandma, Teresa Elaine Morgan has meant to me. I could share her journal entries of the day I was born –all the way to her death and after.

My year in Greece. Even though it was 15 years ago, I could share my experiences in the country I love so much. I found out who I was in Greece, and that woman is much different now than she was then. I love Greece so much. When I have money, I am going to buy a secluded island, so I can have a second home in my second home. I would talk about what learning the language has been like—and the words I love most. There is so much I could share about my love for Greece.

Music. I love music. There is so much I could write about what music has meant to me. Lyrics. Songs. Artists. Nashville. SO much.

Football and Dad. There are so many stories I could share about my love of football and my experiences with my dad that helped shape my love of football. Why I hate Cris Carter and the Vikings. Why I am a Cheesehead. Penn State.

If others have ideas, I would love to hear what you would like me to write about. What you want me to share with you. Sometimes others’ perspectives give ideas the writer would not normally think of on their own. I would be happy to discuss ideas with anyone who is willing to share them with me.

When done well, the best memoirs will resonate with readers in a way that fiction simply cannot. After all, there are few things more striking than true, personal stories that embrace vulnerability and honest self-reflection. Here are some memoirs I would recommend reading which I found interesting/powerful.

Hillbilly Elegy- J.D. Vance

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing- Matthew Perry

The Last Lecture- Randy Pausch

Wild- Cheryl Strayed

Open- Andre Agassi

Home Work- Julie Andrews

This Time Together- Carol Burnett

I Remember Nothing- Nora Ephron

Still Foolin’ Em- Billy Crystal

The Measure of a Man- Sidney Poitier

Green Lights- Matthew McConaughey

WILL- Will Smith

Here We Go Again- Betty White

If You Ask Me (And Of Course You Won’t)- Betty White

There are so many more I could list that I have read over the years: Gore Vidal, Elie Wiesel, to name a couple. There are many I would like to read: Alec Baldwin, Paul Newman, Tara Westover, Tina Turner, Jeanette Walls, Ronald Reagan, Dick Van Dyke, and Viola Davis. If you have any suggestions on good memoirs you’ve read, I’d love to hear them. I am always open to new books to read.

As a genre, memoirs can be hard to find. As a lover of memoirs, I know one when I read one. Memoirs are meant to be intensely personal for those writing and reading them. They often offer some perspective on, and lessons learned from, the past. By picking up a memoir, you’re guaranteed to learn about someone’s story in their own words. The genre is meant to take readers to a new place so they can see from a different vantage point.

Reading memoirs is important because doing so can change your life. Memoirs have educational value, including:

Memoirs allow us see perspectives outside our own while teaching us empathy and compassion. This helps broaden our knowledge and understanding of the world. We also can better understand other cultures and human experiences.

Memoirs inspire and empower. Despite everything humans endure, we are resilient and can persevere.

Memoirs can help you grow as a person. When reading memoirs, we often read experiences which parallel our own. Therefore, seeing the author’s ability to overcome life’s challenges and grow stronger, we can learn, grow, and do the same.

Memoirs have historical value. Often, they provide insight into world events from people who personally experienced them. This may nbe psychological, sociological, cultural, or emotional insights.

When you are looking for your next read, why not select a memoir? You can find a topic that interests you and start from there. With all the memoirs out there, it will be easy to find one relating to any topic. You never know, you might learn something new!