My Plans and Life’s Plans

My life is usually an adventure, but not the one I wanted. One of the core traits of my personality is to plan—my planner is my life. I am not sure why I plan, though. I have to live most of my life spontaneously; my family and friends are all non-planners. Still, I like to have a plan, and if my plan changes, it usually throws of my groove, which is not my favorite.

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My groove was thrown off from the beginning during my recent trip to Florida. My dad was supposed to take me to the airport Friday morning at 4:30, so Thursday night I took a allergy pill at 8: 30 ( I take them at night because they make me sleepy), so I could be asleep by about 9. Just as I was dozing off, I got a telephone call from Maddisson (who I was going on the trip with) that she was going to Mom and Dad’s house, and she would pick me up for the airport that night. I got up and packed the rest of my things. She came about 30 minutes later. Because I never fell asleep from my allergy pill, I got a second wind. I was up until about 1:30 Friday morning. 2.5 hours of sleep really sucks when you need to get up early, and you’re overly tired from taking an allergy pill that you causes you to be drowsy.

We got to the airport at 5:15 Friday morning. Our flight was taking off at 6:40. Security was pretty easy, but my hair set off the alarm, which it does 90% of the time.. I had to let the TSA Agent pat down my hair, which is always awkward. It doesn’t matter how I wear my hair—this time it was down—I inevitably have to let them pat it down.

After eating a bagel, we went to our gate. Our flight was delayed. First a half hour, then an hour. But, just like everything with JetBlue, there was no communication as to why (they have horrible costumer service). In the time at the gate, I think I heard about 100 times that people needed to wear face coverings in the terminal and on the flight. Which was super annoying because I am not an idiot; I understand the airlines’ policies and the mask mandate of the state. It probably didn’t help I was overly tired from not sleeping the night before. The flight to Ft. Lauderdale was excellent. Here’s my biggest issue though: if global warming is such an issue, why are flight attendants handing out gallon sized plastic bags in which the snacks contained could fit into a sandwich bag?  Doesn’t make sense. If they are worried about spreading germs through touch, what is the difference if they touch my snacks (in a bag) or the large snack bags? As a person who depends on logic, so many of these policies make no logical sense to me.

We land in Florida, and then we have to wait and wait for the airport shuttle to the rental car place. I felt so bad for the man in charge of counting people because he had to stand outside in the blaring Florida sun, fully clothed and with a mask on. He had to have been hot. After a quick check in, we got our rental car. We had 6 hours before we could check in to our Air BNB, so we decided we were going to lie on the beach. We found a parking spot near the beach. The access to parking was much more convenient than home—there was some. Hahah. When we got out of the car, we realized just how hot it was. The car read 100 degrees, but my phone said it felt like 114. I totally believe it. We walked on the boardwalk and then beach for about 15 minutes, and decided we would get some lunch. But, first, we were going to get some snacks and drinks. Plus, Maddisson forgot her swimsuit, so she had to buy one. I packed like 5 swimsuits, so I teased her. As we were walking into Target, we were reminded of Broward County’s mask mandate. However, the announcement stated, “if you are uncomfortable wearing a mask, please see an associate.” The presentation was so different than at home (which I noticed the entire weekend), where people sit outside the stores and demand people wear masks. I struggle wearing a mask because of my Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), but I suck it up because I don’t want to deal with the stares if I don’t wear it. People, and the government in NC are so hostile about wearing a mask, it’s honestly disgusting. No one in Florida bothered anyone else who wasn’t wearing one. If I was presented with wearing a mask the way I was in Florida, I’d be less anti-mask. I have been calling NC Communist Carolina for weeks because of the way the rules are laid out and expressed. Here’s the thing: I am not being dramatic. NC has the 3^rd most restrictions of any state. The 2 states with more—CA and PA—the restrictions are determined by the Country leaders: NC it’s all or nothing. It’s frustrating and annoying (https://wallethub.com/edu/states-coronavirus-restrictions/73818/). I should be grateful because Governor Cooper is allowing gyms and parks to open back up this weekend, but the new rule changes don’t really affect me. While loosening some restrictions, he tightened others.

We really wanted sushi. When you’re at the beach, I feel seafood is a must. But, nothing was opened during the daytime. Instead, we found some random pizza place. The people were so nice. The food was good, and bonus, they played Country music!

After we saw a bunch of Southeastern Florida—palm trees for days, it was cool to see them lining the street and highways everywhere—we decided to check into our Air BNB a little bit early. The Air BNB was not as pictured on the website, but it was just steps away from the beach. It’s also cool to see crystal clear water everywhere you go. I wanted to go to the beach, but it was so hot, the thought was unappealing. So, we had some of our snacks and watched Forensic Files. Well, she sat on the bed, and I flitted about the room. I don’t do well sitting. I can’t just sit and watch tv. I have to be busy. Usually, I write. Even when I am watching sports, which sometimes causes me to miss plays. At one point of the trip, Maddisson told me I needed to take a downer, so I could sit still. The thing is, I do sit still; I just don’t sit and do nothing.

At about 6 pm, it was cooler, so we decided we were going to venture to the beach. We had drinks at an outdoor café. I tried a Pina Colada, which was not my favorite because it was sweet. I like the way I make them—coconut water and a splash of coconut pineapple rum. The sunset was amazing. The moon glowed its soft yellow light on the dark ocean. As we were walking back to our Air BNB, a police officer stopped us along a busier section of the boardwalk. She kindly asked us to put our masks on. I hadn’t brought mine—because I knew we were going to be outside—so, I smiled and kept walking. As I walked away, I expected her to follow me and ask again, but she didn’t.

I am an early riser. I always have been. This sometimes creates an issue when traveling with other people. Most people sleep in on vacation. Not me. My body wakes up at around 7-7:30 when on vacation. I took a walk. I ate some breakfast. Maddisson was still asleep. I woke her up at around 9 because we were leaving at 9:30. The marina where the shark diving was located was about an hour away, and we needed to arrive by 10:45. We found a good 90s radio station, and jammed to some classic 90’s music the entire drive. MMMBOP never sounded so good!

When we arrived at the marina, we were asked to sign a waiver. I chuckled—apparently “shark diving is an inherently dangerous activity.” Well, duh. Honestly, I skimmed the paper and signed away my life, haha. We walked to the boat with our guide, Alex, where we met Captain John Moore on the boat, who was on two episodes of shark week—one with Snoop Dog and a Dude Perfect episode—check them out! This is where we went: https://floridasharkdiving.com/

About a half hour later, we arrived at our first location. Alex jumped in after The Captain threw the bait box in. It was surreal watching The Captain shave a fish while we waited for the sharks to come. I had never been nervous to get in the water with sharks; honestly, I was more nervous that I had started my menstrual cycle Friday morning (TMI, I KNOW), and I was going to leak on my towel in front of other people. I did research: sharks can’t smell blood; that’s a common misconception; plus it mixes with the salt water. BTW, I knew it was coming before I left North Carolina (a planner, remember). Plus, I felt very safe, which I know is a weird statement when you are about to jump into the deep ocean with sharks.

We were on the boat with 4 other divers—a married couple, who was celebrating the husband’s 33^rd birthday, a nursing student, who said she didn’t even care about being on the dive, and her friend, who was clearly terrified to be on the trip. Maddisson got in the water first because she said if she didn’t get in before the sharks were near us, then she wouldn’t get in.  As I waited for my turn to get in the water, I looked at the vast blueness of the ocean, and I thought how amazing it was God made the ocean and all the animals in it. And He made me.

I was lucky number 4. When it was my turn, The Captain helped me put on my snorkeling gear. He had to move my hair out of my face, so he could help me put on my snorkel mask. He helped me get into the water and told me my jump in was “perfect.” I was excited because I didn’t get my hair wet. I swam over to the rope and held on. We were told we had to stay on our bellies, so the sharks thought things were as natural as possible. You just put your face in the water to view. Here’s the thing: it’s really difficult to stay floating on your belly when you’re fighting the water and drifting. I have even been working on my core strength. But, I felt weak. Maddisson said it’s because I have no butt to balance me out. While it’s true that I have noassatall, I thought it had gotten bigger since I started working out. Apparently not. It was surreal looking underwater, seeing Alex hundreds of feet below and nothing but blue in front of me.

After about 15 minutes, The Captain said we were going to reset because we hadn’t seen any sharks yet. We tried 4 more locations—reset was the word of the day. We joked with the couple on the birthday trip that we should have brought alcohol and taken shots every time The Captain said “reset”—we all would have been wasted. I got in again at the second location with no success. This time, I tried with a floaty because I thought it would be easier to stay flat. It was not. I had to work harder to stay afloat.  In the third location, we were about 470+ feet deep; everyone got back in the water but me. I hate being wet. Like, really hate it. This stems from my days on swim team. When my hair gets wet and dries, it turns into a nest. When this happens multiple times, it’s just terrible. Part of the joys of being a ginger with coarse, thick hair. At our fifth location, The Captain spotted 2 boats, stating they looked like poachers. Sharks won’t come out if one gets caught because they don’t want to get caught. I got in the water again at location 5 because the other boat on our trip had seen a lemon shark. I joked I liked the odds better with 1 shark and 8 of us. The lemon must have gotten spooked though because we didn’t see her. The poachers scared her away. At location 5 was the only place I felt any nervousness. When I got in the water, I was facing the opposite way of The Captain and Alex. I felt something brush my legs, but it turns out it was just Maddisson’s flipper. I turned the other way, still, so if the sharks came up, they came up on my front side instead of my backside.

So, my graduation present to myself was not, but Maddisson helped me realize there was good in the trip. We got away for the weekend. We got to go snorkeling in the deep ocean. We know what to expect when we go again. We have decided we will go again in 2021. We were refunded our money because we didn’t see any sharks, which I was actually surprised by, because we did use their gas and services, and it’s really not their fault. The other people on the dive re-booked because they were all from Florida, so they could go on the net opening, which was Monday. We couldn’t because our flight back was on Sunday, and I had to work on Monday (I ended up not having to work on Monday, but that’s a story for another time). It’s okay because it gives us an excuse to go back, and we were both sunburned. In fact, my skin is still ruby 5 days later, and I have been slathering it with aloe. I even bought a spray can of aloe for my back.  And before you ask, yes I reapplied while on the water. Maddisson didn’t want to put it on my back, which no one ever does, but she did. If I could find a mineral spray sunscreen, I would use it. She took a picture of my back while I was in the shower and sent it to mom, who said, “are you wearing a white swimsuit?” GRRR. It’s not funny. My nieces helped me put aloe on my body on Tuesday, and Melanie said, “what’s wrong with you?” Oh well. Someone said, “you’ll get a nice tan.” Hahah. They clearly don’t know what “see-though” and “glow-in-the-dark skin is (5-year-old Melly’s words). And this guy, who has been bugging me since February, was trying to compare his sunburn to mine. While it’s not a contest, he has more melanin in his skin, so mine is worse (I was redder, too).  I think there will be a permanent sunburn line. It’s like a multi-layer of redness. I am waiting for the peeling to begin. Luckily, the sunburn only itches a little; it doesn’t hurt, which is surprising with how red it is. Honestly, I wish he would just go away. I have told him as much and ignored his messages, but he doesn’t get the clue, and I am too nice to block him. I am going to have my friend do it for me. I hate being a bitch, but I feel like I will have to be.

After we showered and got dressed in the non-stickiest clothes we could find, we decided to try out this place we passed on the way back called Le Tub, which was voted as the best hamburger in the US by GQ. The burger was 13 ounces, and cooked just the way I like it: medium rare. It was amazing, and the waiter was funny. It was very laidback, and I loved it: http://www.theletub.com/. When you pass by, it looks sketchy, but I would recommend it to everyone who likes burgers. The history of the restaurant is super fun, and I suggest if you ever go to Hollywood, Florida you check it out.

Sunday morning we had to check out by 11, but our flight wasn’t until 6:40. Our original plan was to sit on the beach all day, but being super sunburned, that wasn’t going to happen. We decided to go to a waterfront brunch at a place called GG’s. I decided to try a pina colada mimosa and their chicken club sandwich with a Caesar salad. Yep, I ate a salad, and it was probably the best salad I have ever eaten–https://ggswaterfront.com/. However, I have decided I am not a champagne person. I have tried it a few times, in a few different forms—mimosas, fall mimosas, just champagne, and I don’t care for it.

We still had a few hours to kill before we needed to be at the airport. So, we did the tourist thing—bought a commemorative shark, which had been my plan before I left, even though I didn’t actually see any, some shark teeth (which the twins think I pulled out of a shark’s mouth), and a couple t-shirts. Then, we went to a restaurant called Docker’s, and I had some fresh key lime pie. If you know me, I will always eat pie. It was good. Then, we drove along the Ft. Lauderdale coastline. It was amazing. So beautiful and blue.

We arrived at the airport super early because we didn’t know what the car rental return process would be, or how long security would take. I did get stopped by my security but not for my hair. I left my sunglasses on. We heard only one announcement about masks, but it was as we were boarding the plane. After we boarded the plane, we sat on it for an hour to wait for some weather to pass. I was a bit frustrated because I felt like we could have waited at the gate for the weather to pass. It would have been more comfortable. We circled the airport in Atlanta twice before landing. Our flight to Raleigh was delayed because of weather. Again, I only heard a mask announcement 2 times in Atlanta. We began boarding the plane, as they told us we were going to board while waiting for a plane from Atlanta. We ended up sitting for another 1.25 hours. I was super annoyed at this point because again, we could have waited in the gate, and to me, it’s terrible customer service inconvenience a plane full of people for 10 other people. Plus, there was an extremely loud, crying baby on the plane.

Finally, we were pushing away from the gate. And then we were pulling back in….what? Someone in the back of the plane refused to put their mask on, so we couldn’t take off. After an altercation, he was escorted off the plane. Then, we had to wait another hour before we could take off because the flight crew had to re-configure everything. The flight crew handled the situation very well. Here’s the thing that doesn’t make sense to me: if you were already on a plane and flew to Atlanta with a mask on, why fight wearing one from Atlanta to RDU? It’s only a 45 minute flight.  Now, he’s on a Do Not Fly List, and he had to find a different way home. I didn’t want to wear a mask, but I sucked it up. He made me have to suck it up longer. Thanks, Dude. Thanks. And, it was really rude that I had to wait two times for him.

We finally made it home at almost 1 am. I was annoyed and tired. I really expected my mom to be, but she wasn’t. The whole day felt like a movie. I know it was a test. I had a blessing Wednesday afternoon, which said I needed to influence the world through my bright and cheery nature. I was neither bright nor cheery. After I calmed down, I wrote a strongly worded review to the airline. While I understand it was not all their fault, I didn’t appreciate how they handled it.

Things could be worse. Things could always be worse. I did get to take a vacation. I did get to step out of my life for a few days. Everything didn’t go as planned, but it was still a good trip. I got to see God’s majesty-: land and sea, and see and understand my minuteness in it all. I am such a small creation, but God still loves me and knows of my presence—my worries and concerns, and He cares and loves me despite all my faults and shortcomings. As human beings, I think we have the tendency to believe we have a much bigger influence on the world than what we actually do. Our problems are usually pretty small in the grand scheme of things, and we think they are so earth-shattering. But the thing is there is a whole world out there. Yes, what happens to the individual is important, but it’s not important as we think.

So, while the trip didn’t go as planned, it actually did. Everything happens for a reason. It’s okay to be disappointed, but it’s not ok to dwell in that disappointment. Bruce and I will swim together when the time is right. It’s not like I am going to stop being fascinated with sharks or that my “Keep Swimming” motto is going to change.  Plans are about what’s comfortable. Humans like what’s comfortable. People think swimming with sharks is scary, but what I think is really scary is unknown. The ocean is a vast mystery, which is scary. You know what’s in the ocean, but you don’t really know. I wasn’t scared to swim with the sharks, I was more afraid of being in the middle of the ocean. Because the ocean is an enigma, I bought a red bikini for courage. I normally don’t wear red because I think I look awful in it, being a ginger. For me, it’s a symbol of boldness and courage. I know what you’re thinking: red attracts sharks. It doesn’t. They are colorblind. I bought the swimsuit because I do not like what’s uncomfortable—the unknown. Life leaves us with a lot of unknowns (especially currently). I need to have more courage when facing the unknown parts of my life.  I am learning this in life: while everything doesn’t always happen how and when I want it to, it happens when it’s supposed to. When and how it does, is usually much better than how I planned for it. I need to let go of my plan, and let life unfold in its time. I am working on it. It’s not easy, but I am working on it.