Pet Peeves

We all have pet peeves—those common, little things people do that annoy us. Some may have a few, while others have hundreds. These pet peeves may make our skin crawl, cause us to become irate, or cause us to question humanity. Psychologist, O’Connor called pet peeves “social allergens” that can cause mental fatigue and anxiety (psychology today). Dr. Jessica Chen, a neuropsychologist, explains: “Dismissing pet peeves as ‘silly’ overlooks their real physical and emotional toll. It’s not the individual trigger but the cumulative effect over time that’s concerning.” Something so little can have major impacts on our daily lives. And, if you’re anything like me, you have A LOT of pet peeves, which can cause some issues in everyday life.  

The term “pet peeve” comes from the word “peevish,” which means spiteful or bad-tempered, and “pet,” which refers to how it’s nurtured as a particular annoyance. “Peevish” eventually evolved into “peeve,” which is used as a verb and a noun. The noun form of this word usually refers to something that creates a feeling of resentment or aggravation. Normally, we think of “Pet” is used to describe something loved or cherished—our dog, our love, etc., but in the 19th century, it was ironically paired with words like, “hatred” or “aversion.” It naturally followed that this device was then applied to the word “peeve,” thus creating the phrase “pet peeve.” 

We all have pet peeves. Some of us have more than others. There are people, who just let the things that annoy them happen; other people allow those annoyances to ruin their day. How you respond to a pet peeve is critical to not letting them take over your life. It’s important to name them—say what annoys you, so you are aware and can take care of it when it’s occurring. Being mindful is key. Mindfulness helps us stay present but be aware of the “big picture” at the same time. These little annoyances aren’t the end of the world. Pause. Take a breath. Don’t let your minor frustration affect your relationship.  

According to a study done in 2020, psychologists found that pet peeves varied by age, generation, and gender. This seems common. Older people are much more likely to be bothered by technology issues than younger people. Women are more in tune to hygiene and manners than men. (Psychology Today). I swear, it’s in my mom’s family’s DNA to be hyper-aware of certain aspects of life and then be annoyed (maybe genetics plays a part in our pet peeves).  

Are there any pet peeves that appear to be universal. I have come up with a list (which I know is a pet peeve for some), of some common pet peeves, and why they may be so: 

• Chewing sounds/noises. Being frustrated by the sound someone makes when eating a crunchy apple or a bowl of soup is a natural reaction. *Personally, I hate when people talk with food in their mouth or try to talk around food. It’s bad manners. It’s gross. I also hate when people scrape their fork on their teeth or repeatedly bang their spoon against their bowl/plate. This is bad according to etiquette rules, too.  
• Repetitive tapping. Whether it’s tapping a pencil, pen, or foot, non-stop tapping can not only be annoying, but distracting, too. The person is not playing the drums.  
• Interrupting during a conversation. We all know someone who won’t let us get three words in before they’re already talking about something else over us. It’s frustrating because you lose what you wanted to say, or you feel unheard. Talking over people is also pretty bad manners, too.  
• Holding up a line. We’ve all been through the check out or airport security, so you know what to expect. Don’t be rude and wait until it’s your turn to pull out the credit card or passport. 
• Leaving digits on the microwave. How hard is it to press the reset button when you take your food out? 
• Texting during a meal. If you’ve ever gone out to dinner with a friend or partner only to have them stare at their phone the entire meal, you probably already know how annoying this can be. It’s rude, disrespectful, and doesn’t make you want to spend more time with them. My time is important to me, so if I go out with you, then you should honor me and my time. It’s also super annoying when someone begins texting when they are speaking with you.  
• Taking phone calls in public. It’s one thing to take a phone call on a busy city street or in an empty park. It’s another thing to take one in a peaceful, quiet coffee shop where people are working, or in an airport where you’re shoulder-to-shoulder with strangers. Also, leave the FACETIME to home. You shouldn’t do that in public. If you want to talk to someone when you’re in public, at least have the common courtesy to put headphones in. 
• Throat-clearing/coughing noises. Throat clearing and coughing noises can be repetitive for some people without them even realizing it, and therefore, annoying. If you have a frog in your throat, it’s easy to clear with water or by clearing your throat.  
• Leaving drawers and cabinets open. A lot of people have the habit of forgetting to close cabinets and drawers after they open them when cooking or getting ready for the day, but this can be annoying to people who you live with. It’s also a safety hazard. NO ONE wants to see what’s in your drawers anyway, lol. 
• Driving too slow. While certainly safer than driving too fast, slow drivers can be particularly annoying to some people. Move to the side of the road if you want to drive slow. Be safe. Remember: When in doubt, follow the speed limit. ****DO NOT SLOW TRAFFIC TO TEXT AND DRIVE. It’s unsafe and not necessary. 

• Driving too close to the car in front. Tailgating is never a good idea, and it’s often the cause of road rage incidents and accidents. If you’re not sure how close is too close, just remember to keep one car-length between you and the person in front of you for every 10 mph. The faster you’re going, the more room you should leave. There is no need to see what radio station the people in front of you are listening to 
• People who don’t/won’t pull over for First Responders. It’s common courtesy. It’s safe. You would want someone to pull over for your loved one’s emergency.  
• People who talk during movies. If someone is next to you talking throughout the entire film, how are you going to hear what the actors are saying? Same goes for using your phone in a dark theater. It’s distracting to everyone else — enough said. If you and someone else are watching the movie for the first time together, they won’t know the answers to the questions you’re asking.  
• Unsolicited advice and recommendations. People can’t seem to help themselves (especially on the internet) when it comes to suggesting where to go, what to do, and how to live your life — even if no one asked for their opinion. Sometimes, people just need to express themselves—they don’t need you to comment. ****I hate it when men feel like they need to explain sports to me. NO MANSPLAINING needed. I probably know more than they do in most cases.  
• Being late. Everyone is late every now and then, but chronic lateness is frustrating, and disrespectful to the people you’re meeting. They have lives beyond you.  
• Slow walkers. Some people feel similarly about slow walkers as they do about slow drivers. When possible, it’s good to match the pace of those around you. But if that’s not possible (and hey, sometimes a nice slow stroll is good), then just try to keep to the side so people in a hurry can have a clear path. 
• Gum cracking/snapping/chewing. This one is like chewing and eating. The solution? Just opt for some mints when you’re around others. It’s a more pleasant experience all around. Leaving the chomping to Britney, Bitch! 
• Cracking knuckles. There’s nothing that can disrupt a peaceful, nice dinner like your dinner date loudly cracking their knuckles throughout the evening. The sound can send chills down some people’s spines. It’s a little gross, and distracting, too. 
• Chewing your nails. It’s gross. It’s a bad habit. There’s much better ways to relieve your stress, too.  
• Words. While grammar police are a whole pet peeve in and of themselves, grown adults mixing up their/they’re/there can still be a bit frustrating. *Spelling is a personal pet peeve of mine—not that people spellers, that I understand, but with all the tech we have that people are dependent on, someone should invent a better computer editor.  
• Clipping nails in public. Ew. Why can’t people just do this in the confines of their own home? There is just no excuse for this. Ever. Preferably, so no one can hear the clippers. Please clean up the clippings when you’re done. Leave the nail clippings for the medical examiners. Also, please nail file at home. 
• Picking your nose or wedgy. No one needs to see that, and it’s gross. 
• Leaving your dog’s poop. It’s bad manners. It’s gross, and it attracts flies. If you don’t want to pick up your dog’s poo, do it in your yard. 
• Pen clicking/chewing. It’s enough to drive a co-worker nuts. Also, are you not afraid of germs?! 
• Burping/farting in public. If you must burp or toot (because, hey, we’re all just human), at least cover your mouth and say excuse me. 
  

The list could go on, but there’s no need. We are all annoyed by things, and we are all annoying. The point: BE MORE AWARE OF YOUR ACTIONS, AND HOW THEY IMPACT OTHER PEOPLE.  

I’d like to hear: what’s your biggest pet peeve?