September Poetry

September was a difficult month for me. When I am stressed, I write poetry. I have written quite a bit this month about different phases of life. I have selected a few to share. In effort to be more vulnerable and  brave, I have decided to share some of the poems with you. Maybe some day I will be brave enough to read the poetry over voice text, so you all can hear the emotion in my voice when I read them.

Protocol of A Broken Heart

(Written 9/3/19)

I have learned to live

through the protocol

of a broken heart—

to fall in love is simple,

but to fall out of love—

to go through the protocol,

tears you apart, is awful.

I won’t let the protocol

break me, stop me

from loving deeply,

because loving genuinely

is part of mending,

will help you move on

and love again.

That’s the most important step:

to love again.

Past Broken Scars

(Written 9/4/19)

Growth means choosing happiness

over your past pain.

You are not your history—

your mistakes, wrongdoings, or misjudgments.

Never look back.

Do not wallow in your bygones,

or allow them to dictate current you.

You are not broken—

cracks let beauty, your light

shine to the world.

The scars you wear

are part of your former self,

who you are now.

Those scars tell your story,

but do not determine the future story

you have to tell.

Use those past broken scars

as reminders of:

where you’ve come from;

what you’ve become;

who you can be.

______________is Beautiful

(Written 9/5/19)

It’s not about being beautiful:

beauty is skin deep;

be bold; courage is beautiful;

be silly; being yourself is beautiful;

be fiercely independent; freedom is beautiful;

be curious and intelligent; interesting is beautiful.

Be confident and brave:

there is beauty hidden

in our moments of strength—

the moments we overcome.

Be yourself; be real

in a world that caters to fake.

Beauty is whatever you make it.

Let’s redefine beautiful.

Your Perfect

(Written 9/9/19)

Don’t be so hard on yourself

when things go wrong.

You are not perfect;

you aren’t meant to be.

You were supposed to

climb the mountains,

not carry them on your back.

Grow to be better—

improve the person you are;

let go of disappointment, hurt, anger—

keep the lessons feelings taught you;

take time to enjoy life,

and make your soul happy.

You will find your perfect

in your happiest moments.

Bring It On

(Written 9/10/19)

It’s the end of another day;

life went imperfectly,

more wrong than right.

I am discouraged, frustrated,

want to give up, hide away, lock the door.

The hard times circle around;

they are gone, return.

I feel defeated, hanging my head;

I might be holding on tightly,

but I’m holding on, not dead.

I’m not going to let life

get me down, make me cry.

I will relax, take a breath.

Tomorrow is another day.

I will lift my head up.

I am not afraid.

Bring it on…

Beautiful

(Written 9/12/19)

Now and again, I become insecure

from the pain,

then I feel ashamed.

I know I am beautiful,

but I feel shy, uncomfortable

when people stare.

I know I should not worry

about what others think.

I should enjoy my beauty.

I will shine though;

I won’t let hurt

bring me down, break me.

I am the song of life,

inside the melody

full of intricacies, mistakes, nuance.

I know my song is beautiful

in every single wa

Label

(Written 9/13/19)

Once you label me,

you take away from

who I really am

because your label

defines who you want me to be:

a woman,

white,

generous,

selfish.

Once you label me,

you negate who I truly am,

and I must live up

to the label you’ve given me

in your mind.

I will never do that—

I want to be me.

I want to be who I am,

meant to be

Inside the Grief

(Written 9/15/19)

Grief

is the stage of life

where you find out

the most about yourself.

You also find out

a lot about other people

inside the grief.

All I Am

(Written 9/21/19)

I am a free bird, sitting on the roof.

I am the list of everyone I lost.

I am the rainbow after the storm.

I am who I was, and how much I hurt.

I am the mirror in the hall;

I am the echoes as it crashes.

I am a lock of hair.

I am half a heart.

I am the groove in the songs I sing.

I am the unfound gifts.

I am wrapped in winter, lying underground.

I am somewhere in the stars.

I am the sound from the distance.

I am the strum of the guitar.

I am who I am; that’s all I can be.

Look for me in stories

whispered in a world unseen.

I’m Doing Fine

(Written 9/22/19)

I’m doing fine—

I’ve realized everyone’s

a little broken.

I’m doing fine

enough to learn hearts are best

when they’re wide open.

I have fear inside,

but I won’t let that stop me.

I’m not okay;

I’ll be all right;

I’m doing fine

for the first time

in a long time.

I blamed God;

I blamed myself;

I found my knees; prayed like Hell.

It’s funny how grace—

even a little—

can change you;

help you understand others.

You can’t be free without a fight,

and I’ll win this one

if takes everything I have.

I’m doing fine

for the first time

in a long time.