The Unknown

“Life throws you curves, but you learn to swerve.”- Rascal Flatts

          People like the known. The certainty. The comfortability. We often become complacent. I know I was. When I was hired at my job in 2017, I was also getting my PhD. I wanted a job that I could work part-time, so I could focus on my studies. That job served its purpose. I graduated in 2020, and the goal was to find a job in my field. While I was searching for said job, Covid happened, and the non-profit field shuttered. After Covid restrictions were lessened, the non-profit field was still slow. My job was secure, and I was advancing. In 2023, I became the General Manager. In February this year, the Company was taken over, and I stayed on. The new owner and I had different visions, and in November I was “let go.” The curve.

          I worked for a small business, where I built relationships with our clients. I knew and communicated with everyone. I was basically the face of the business. While I understand, the new owner and I didn’t have the same vision, the way he “released me from my duties” was very Corporate—in the middle of the workday, escorted me out, made me sign a termination agreement, and wanted me to work for him after he let me go. The whole situation rubbed me the wrong way. Especially when he promised to support me in my future endeavors.

          The truth is I wasn’t happy at my job. I deserved better from my employer. I wasn’t being stimulated in my daily job. I wasn’t given autonomy. I really wanted to work with people, serve them—and help them live better lives, and the owner was about the bottom line. I knew I needed something different. I was always at work, and I wanted more free time. Often, it felt like I owned the business, but I was still tied to someone else’s rules. I was staying at the job because I was comfortable, and I was earning a good paycheck. In September, I decided after my upcoming vacation, I was going to seriously look for a new job, where I could help the people in the way I wanted to. I never got that opportunity.

When I was let go, I thought I would feel more scared of the future and more upset by losing my job. The truth is: I did feel lost because that job had been part of my identity for over 8 years, and I didn’t know how to move forward. I could have spiraled, but I didn’t. My Life Coach told me; it was because I was already planning on leaving. I have built a pretty solid savings, and I enjoy working. I already knew there was something better for me. I am still saddened I didn’t get to say goodbye to all the people I had built relationships with, but I believe my staff will let them know how I felt about them. I’ve already communicated with a couple of them since leaving.

          The truth is, we don’t know what life is going to hold for us each day, so we shouldn’t live life in fear, or be unhappy. 2025 was a tough year for many of us. I am sure most of you will agree with me when I say I am ready to see the backside of this year. It was a tough year emotionally and spiritually, and I didn’t always respond in the most positive way. I am not perfect, and I am aware of what improvements I need to make in my life. I try to be better each day—better than the day before. During the most stressful times at my former job, that goal was often neglected. I was surviving and not thriving. So, I apologize to anyone I may have hurt while I was in the survival mindset in 2025.

          The human brain doesn’t like uncertainty, it likes to simplify things, so that our feelings are not mixed-up. Most of the time, we focus on the negative and not the positive. Our brains are wired to think about the worst-case scenarios. We tend to spiral into the abyss of negativity. Especially when faced with the unknown. We know a good life comes with imperfections, but we can still be thrown off by ambiguity. Managing uncertainty is difficult; life happily sends surprises our way, and whether we like it or not, we have to manage those moments. The key is not to ruminate on the negative, which is a conscious effort, and it’s not easy. We all want to resolve the uncertainties we face, but the person who is an intense ruminator is more acutely biased toward doomsday thinking. Doomsday thinking can paralyze us. We become fixated on what could be, instead of what is. The negative thinking is a loop we get stuck in, and at times, it’s a hard cycle to end.

          The human brain also likes closure. Not having closure forces us to think in non-typical (divergent) ways. Divergent thinkers are more tolerant, curious, adaptable, and creative. If we think divergently, we can solve problems, as they come, without knowing the ending piece right away.

          My brain tends to be less divergent. I like consistency, comfortability, and the known. When I was let go, I reached out to a mentor, and a Career Advisor at my school’s Alumni services. I took AI and career webinars. (AI is not my jam, I don’t like it, and I don’t support it.) I applied for jobs that felt like a “good fit.” I considered applying at Target and Walmart to be a seasonal employee. Being let go in November was bad timing, as most companies don’t hire until January. The lack of responses felt frustrating, and my past job didn’t really fit what I want to do in life. During this time, I was inspired by other people’s stories, and my desire to help people was reaffirmed.

During the last two months, and after talking to a variety of people, who I know, love, and trust, I have decided to work for myself—to start my own company: MorganLaine writing. I will work for the people I want, and in the ways that I want. I will have the autonomy I didn’t have at my last job. I will have the freedom I didn’t have at my last job. I can volunteer more. I will focus on my writing—short stories, poetry, etc. I will make the rules, and I will be the one in charge of how I live my life, and how I make money. I will write, edit, and research for the people and the companies I choose. I will help people tell their own stories. The swerve.

          This is a leap of faith for me. It’s scary to jump into the unknown. I am betting on myself, and the skills I have learned through my years of schooling and life. I know it will be a learning process, but I love learning. In the beginning, I will use freelance companies to bolster my portfolio, and learn more about the freelancing market: how much jobs cost, timetables, etc. It will also help me market myself—something I am not good at. Eventually, I will expand into doing some non-profit work of my own. I have already been hired by 2 freelance companies, and I have a pitch meeting set up in a couple of weeks to promote my short stories to TV developers. It’s something I will keep working at, even if other opportunities arise.

          I have continued to apply for non-profit jobs, but I have been very selective in the process—only NP’s I would want to work with/help people, who need it, according to my skillset. I will volunteer with some of them to get my foot in the door.

          This is something I should have done awhile ago, but I let fear of the unknown get in my way. I am not doing that anymore. So, in the coming months, look for a business update on my webpage. Thank you to everyone, who has pushed me out of my comfort zone, and helped me decide to do something that will be good for me, and my well-being.

          Thank you to everyone who will support me on this journey. I am going to make it worth your while.